A letter to my littlest, as I return to work and he starts nursery….
Enjoy your first proper day at nursery little man.
We’ve been inseparable for a year, you and me. You’ve been by my side for every coffee date, lunch date, shopping trip; for those getting-errands-done days and pottering-at-home days. Me and you: pretty much all day, every day (and quite a lot of the nighttime as well).
And now suddenly, I won’t be there all the time anymore. You’ll be with other people, in a different place, and you won’t know why. You’ll wonder where I am, what’s happening, when am I coming back? And judging by your settling in days last week, you won’t like it much at first. It will break your heart a little bit, just like it will break mine, just like it did when your big bro started and I wasn’t with him all the time anymore. I thought it would be easier this time round, but somehow it’s harder… you seem younger than he was, maybe because you’re only just starting to toddle, and because you still look more like a baby – while he was running about with a full head of hair.
But let me tell you this: in time, you will love nursery. They’ll teach you new things that I don’t know about. You’ll sing songs I haven’t heard, play games I haven’t played, make friends that I don’t know. They’ll let you play with all the play dough and paint and sand and general messy stuff that I NEVER let you play with at home. You’ll have THE best time.
And so will I: for part of the week being the person I used to be before I had you two boys, working, focusing, using my brain in a different way to how I do on all those coffee dates and train track constructions. Feeling fulfilled in a different way to the way you guys fulfil me.
And at the end of the day, when I come and pick you up, and I see the 2 of you smile and run (or crawl!) to me, I’ll know we’re all OK, and that nothing can ever take away that bond that all that time together has created.
So even though I’m a blubbery mess writing this now, I know it’s the absolute right thing for all of us. See you later on champ, I love you and your bro to bits xx