22 ways I’ve changed since being a parent

Having kids sooooo hasn’t changed me at all. Not much, anyway. OK then, maybe a bit…

1. I spend approximately 83% of waking hours picking up toys from the floor, which definitely feels like physical exercise and yet never seems to have a fraction-of-a-gram impact on my figure. But I live in hope and use this as a reason to justify never doing any “real” exercise

2. My main goal in life now is to have a playroom

3. I’m an expert in IKEA storage systems – (in case you’re interested, Kallax and Pax are my favourites)

4. I used to have an occasional coffee. Now if I haven’t had a “full-caff-cap” by 10am I’m a quivering wreck

5. When the Zara sale starts now I go to kids BEFORE ladies [This is BIG people…]

6. I know the names of ALL the Thomas trains. Including all the “newcomers” (i.e any that didn’t exist when i was last immersed in 1986). If we can’t find one of the wagons it can ruin my day

7. Equally, I’ve lost hours of my life looking the one final missing wooden man from the Habitat bus

8. A “day sesh” means “I had a cheeky glass of wine at lunch”

9. I used to treat myself to a square of Green & Blacks. Now i shovel Dairy Milk Buttons down my throat by the thousand in a hideous manner

10. When CBeebies recently moved to a different channel number I felt like the world had tipped on its axis for a day or 2

11. I’m an Aldi addict and can bore you for hours on the benefits of their nappies / wipes / biscotti / sticker books / ginger biscuits / champagne / Cote de Provence rose / garden shears / flippers…

12. Getting a haircut now gives me the feeling of escapism that would once have taken a fortnight in a yoga retreat

13. Talking of yoga, I am now that person that falls asleep during shavasana. Every. Single. Time.

14. The thing I hate most in life is playdough. It really is the spawn of the devil

15. I really should buy shares in Tupperware. I’ve got one of those huge pan drawers full of the stuff

16. I previously only wore sweatshirts when I was painting (walls, not art – come on…). Now i have about 16, all colours, all with some sort of positive statement emblazoned across the front

17. By contrast, if I’m going out now I get totally over-excited and majorly dressed up (or as majorly dressed up as you can get in 7 minutes, anyway)

18. I’m obsessed with lipstick – the bolder the better for tired eye distraction

19. I think people on instagram are my friends, especially the instamums. I’m sure this would have happened anyway but having hours on end sitting feeding and scrolling has intensified it significantly

20. My phone runs out of battery by about 9am each morning (due to said insta-addiction, and because this is the time of day when I haven’t yet built up the strength to argue against the ‘i want to play with your phone’ whines)

21. My ‘recommended for you’ on Prime and Netflix has gone from the latest trending drama, teso alerts about new episodes of Tayo the Little Bus or Ben & Holly

22. I cry at ANYTHING. Including an advert for a bank a couple of weeks ago. Not cool

But apart from that, I’m EXACTLY the same person I always have been 🙂

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2 Comments

  1. Rachel September 27, 2017 / 1:00 pm

    That is genius Natalie and so spot on!

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