It’s been a few months since i started mumdinger and you might remember one of my reasons for starting this blogging ‘thing’ was to try and divert myself away from online shopping. i was on first name terms with all the local couriers and know each retailers delivery and returns policy better than they do themselves – so I needed a distraction. I had visions that, with the help of a blog to focus on, i’d be a changed person, finding my inner peace through the medium of words instead of the medium of clicks. Well, i thought you might be interested in an update as to whether i’ve achieved this.
In a word, no.
In fact, more than no. It’s got worse.
Why? One word: Instagram.
I like to think of myself as someone that is always at least vaguely aware of what’s cool – i may be in my mid 30s but i still know what the kids are down with, even if i’m not always down with them myself (erm, crop tops? i think not).
But i was 100% late to the party when it comes to Instagram. So much so, in fact, that Instagram is filed on my phone in the ‘photography’ folder – because until a few months ago i honestly thought it was just a way to make photos look nicer.
Ohhhhhh how wrong i was. Instagram is basically like having a 24/7 window to both the shops, and the people that shop them… AND (who knew!) it’s also a bona fide HOME to shops you’ve never heard of! Before Instagram (which i will henceforth refer to as BI) i had an addiction to buying kids’ clothes on the high street. Now i still have that, but i also have an addiction to buying kids’ clothes through Instagram. Baby leggings are coming through my letterbox at a rate of knots. We’ve had flamingos, pandas, plant pots, penguins, boats, spots, stripes, dashes… and now i’m coveting toucans. They just look so gorgeous all nicely photographed and filtered in their little squares, and they turn up all wrapped up beautifully with a name tag on them which means it basically IS Christmas everyday. And makes it totally justifIable to buy more of them than there are days in a 3 month clothing size. Ahem.
As well as my new obsession with mini-lycra Instagram has also made it very clear to me that my house (which has been totally ‘done’ in the last 3 years since we move in) needs to be totally redone. In monochrome. As well as the instagram-is-cool memo I also obviously missed the colour-is-not-cool one. All colour is banished unless it is on a pom pom or a teepee trim. It’s a mystery to me where the hell these insta-folk put all the pyschadelically coloured presents their kids receive from good-wishing relatives – surely everybody doesn’t buy them black and white scandi style toys or a co-ordinating ball pit? Or do they all have secret rooms full of toot toot cars and Happyland people that nobody apart from their kids ever see? (Side-note: i think a monochrome jumperoo would make a killing…)
So i’m shopping for kids’ stuff, house stuff… what about stuff for me? Well, I’ve been sensible and limited the number of ‘me-shops’ I follow for fear of constant temptation – but it doesn’t matter. The people i follow have shown me in no uncertain terms that there is an ‘insta-mum’ uniform i NEED to own. It involves animal print, metallics, slogan jumpers and apparently a chambray embroidered top from Next with tassels and puffy sleeves which i swear to god I would never even glance at but when loads of people you follow (and by the way, i sometimes forget these people are not my actual friends) wear something suddenly you see it in a totally different light. Having never worn a sweatshirt in my life I’m now the proud owner of about 8, all grey, all with different slogans on – from Girl Gang to Mother to Mama to #mumdinger (yessssss) and my absolute favourite one – emblazoned with a metallic N surrounded by neon pom poms which actually made my husband question whether i was having an early mid life crisis (and relieved we don’t have a daughter). Zilla Kids, if you’re wondering.
Oh yeah, and when my decade old laptop conked out i replaced it with a MacBook. Because i’m a blogger. And that’s what bloggers do. OK? Can’t you see an improvement in the quality of my writing now that there’s an apple on the other side of my screen?! Thought so.
So no, it’s not going well. It’s going insanely badly. But you know what? I’m enjoying myself. I like shopping. Always have, and almost certainly always will. And it would be pretty sad if blogging changed me, right?
My favourite instagram accounts: @mother_of_daughters @amothersedit @mutha.hood @dresslikeamum @adaintymum @mummydaddyme @doesmybumlook40 @thismamalife @anotherfox @mabelandfox @thefmlystore @thegraystore @style_mum @thefrugality @emmaneale_handmade @nicandbees_handmade